


Put On A (Horror) Show

by AsagiStilinski



Series: Writer Witch And Baker Wolf [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alive Laura Hale, Alternate Universe, Derek is mildly afraid of Stiles, M/M, Magic!Stiles, Misunderstandings, Werewolves are still a thing, baker!Derek, casual mentions of blood and body parts, not exactly Halloween but close
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-27
Updated: 2015-08-27
Packaged: 2018-04-17 11:19:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4664631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AsagiStilinski/pseuds/AsagiStilinski
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>"Woah woah woah, calm down Derek, what do you mean you think your new neighbor wants to kill you?"</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"I came home and there was blood all over the backyard Laura, what else is that supposed to mean?"</p><p>Or</p><p>The one where Derek is mildly afraid of his creepy neighbor Stiles instead of the other way around</p>
            </blockquote>





	Put On A (Horror) Show

**Author's Note:**

> **UNBETA'D**

The first indication he had that something was really, really wrong with his new neighbor was when he started asking about Halloween in August

It was early August too, the stores didn't even get finished with their back-to-school sales yet (although to be fair sales didn't end until another was ready to begin)

Derek's neighbor was.... new....

New and odd and Derek wasn't sure yet how he felt about him

He had only moved in a few weeks ago to the house next to Derek's and so far they hadn't said a word to eachother

But that was normal, people weren't neighborly anymore, the welcome-wagon days were long passed

But Derek had seen him around, out getting the mail and going to and from his car

He looked like a nice enough guy so he didn't pay much attention to him

....

Until, on the first week of August, the new neighbor ran into Straight From Hale Baked Goods (guaranteed to taste like sin or your money back!) and nearly threw himself at the counter

It was a Monday afternoon, Derek should NOT be dealing with this yet

"Hey, um, hi, hi, do you know if the Spirit Halloween that used to be nextdoor moved or like... closed forever?"

That was probably the least expected question New Neighbor could have asked him

"Um... I'm sorry, I don't,"

"Crap..... crap crap ok... ok 'cause Google says the only other one in Beacon County is like two hours away and over on Orange Grove Road and they're doing like a helluvalot of construction there and it's IMPOSSIBLE to get over there,"

Derek nodded sympathetically but didn't say anything else, he wanted to ask so many questions and he just... he just really didn't need to start a conversation...

"Halloween Express?" New Neighbor asked suddenly

Derek shook his head, giving a shrug

"I think they're just seasonal,"

"What? No no no they're open year round!"

"Not this location, they use the strip center across from us every year, open September 1st, close November 10th, same old same old, sorry,"

New Neighbor cursed, worrying his lip and groaning

"Ahh... ok... ok so you know if Party City has Halloween stuff out yet?"

No, no he didn't

He wasn't sure why New Neighbor thought he was the Halloween King or something (he was pretty sure only his sisters thought of him like that) but he wasn't

He also wasn't sure why his sister had chosen what was apparently the most Halloweeny part of town to open her bakery but he had a feeling it wasn't a coincidence

"You can try, it's Party City, they live on Halloween," he pointed out

New Neighbor thanked him, smiled, and raced out of the bakery

Derek pursed his lips and wished he had atleast managed to talk the guy into buying something

~+~

Derek wasn't at all confident that when Laura came out a few minutes after that and insisted he go to Party City for birthday candles- because apparently Cora forgot to order the bulk stock and Laura was somehow too good for grocery store candles- "What if they don't have the pink and white ones Derek?"- that it was, in fact, all a coincidence

Derek was entirely certain that she heard the slight flutter in his heartbeat when New Neighbor had come running in and decided to capitalize on it

Derek was absolutely sure that he wasn't REALLY being sent out for birthday candles but was, in reality, being forced into a hopefull meet-cute that he knew within reason was never going to happen

But here he stood in Party City, looking for pink and white candles- _ugh_ \- and listening to New Neighbor as he talked animatedly to another guy- a brunette with tan skin and big brown eyes and a slightly crooked jaw

"It's blasphemy Scotty! Absolute tyranny!"

"Stiles I think that's a little extreme... I mean it IS just August..."

"Yeah and some places are already doing CHRISTMAS stuff, seriously when is Halloween going to get the respect it deserves?" New Neighbor- "Stiles" apparently- huffed from the next aisle over

"No one is already doing Christmas stuff Stiles,"

"Hallmark is! Hobby Lobby is! Micheals is!"

Derek lost the conversation at that point, wondering what the next response was but deciding not to be THAT creepy and just stuck to his own aisle, finally finding the candles and walking towards the counter, blinking in surprise when he saw the two boys there already, grabbing a bag and handing over cash

"I'm so disappointed, how are we going to work with this?" Stiles asked sadly

"Don't worry, we'll make it work," the other guy- Scott, Derek was assuming- smiled and patted him on the shoulder before the two walked out, leaving Derek to watch after them and wonder what it was that was so important about getting Halloween decorations in August

~+~

_"Woah woah woah, calm down Derek, what do you mean you think your new neighbor wants to kill you?"_

Derek struggled not to snarl at Laura over the phone and rolled his eyes

"I came home and there was blood all over the backyard Laura, what else is that supposed to mean?"

_"Was it REAL blood Der?"_

"No it's fake but still! I think they're trying to send a message,"

He could practically hear Laura rolling her eyes and he could DEFINITELY hear her laughing

"This isn't funny!"

_"Derek, would you just go ASK them what they're doing?"_

No, no Derek didn't want to go and ask them what they were doing, he just wanted to be left alone

He wasn't left with much choice though

So he took a deep breath, and hung up with a breif goodbye to Laura

Maybe he really WAS over-reacting

There had to be a good reason for this

And what idiots would threaten a werewolf by pouring cheap, fake Halloween blood in his yard?

Even the youngest hunters weren't that stupid!

He easily crossed from his yard into his neighbour's, only having to avoid a few rocks and fallen branches in the way, and perking when he heard the same voices from the store earlier

"This just isn't working!" he heard Stiles huff

"Chill out man, it's going to be fine, look, we'll come back tonight when it's dark, it'll be much creepier then!"

"Yeah but you won't see the blood,"

"Maybe not... but with the light of the moon you won't even need the blood, things'll be scarey enough as it is,"

"I still say we should just go with the body parts," Stiles pointed out again

Derek felt himself choke on nothing and listened as the other guy- Scott- sighed

"Fine, we'll go get the body parts out of your basement,"

"I don't have them anymore remember? I had to ditch 'em when I moved,"

"Oh yeah... um... ok, it's no problem, we'll just find some new ones, it's no big deal, we'll go by the hospital later and ask my mom about it,"

Derek felt his stomach start to churn and watched as the two walked back towards the house, entering through the backdoor

He swallowed, taking a few steps closer and glancing to the side, jumping when he saw a big metal pole- a cut off, jagged edge for the tip- sticking out of the ground and covered in fake blood

What. The. Hale.

~+~

"You think they're serial killers because they have FAKE blood all over the yards?"

Derek turned on his heel, face tense as he stared at his younger sister

"I think they're trying to intimidate us, they might be hunters,"

She just rolled her eyes and shook her head

"Derek, you've lost what was left of your mind,"

"I'm serious Cora!"

"I know, and that's the sad part, seriously? When did you get so paranoid?"

He squinted at her, wrinkling his nose and huffing again

"I'm going to take a shower, remember if someone comes to the door-"

"Scent first, open second, I know Derek, I'm not twelve,"

Derek just nodded slowly and went upstairs to his shower

He thought distantly as he started to strip out of his clothes that maybe he WAS just exaggerating

Maybe he just lived next to an eccentric couple who really loved Halloween

It wasn't that unusual he supposed, he had seen that thing on TV last October about people who made their homes into haunted houses and started all the way back in July for it

He could sort of relate, September 1st was Halloween Decorating Day in the Hale house, it always had been and it always would be

~+~

Derek woke up at three in the morning to the sounds of screaming followed by Nick Pitera's version of This Is Halloween

It was coming from next door

~+~

"You look tired baby bro," Laura pointed out the next morning as she flipped some pancakes

"You didn't hear the three A.M. wake up call?" Derek bit back as he slouched in his seat

"Oh that, yeah... they left us a fruit basket," she commented

Derek jerked his head up and glared at her

"A fru-"

"Cora has it, although it isn't actually fruit, it's popcorn and chips and some things like that, you know teenage boys, they don't believe in fruit," she teased, pointing a batter covered spoon in his direction

Derek huffed, marching off to find Cora and pausing in front of the front door

He could see a perfect veiw of the neighbor's mailbox from the window by his door and...

Standing in front of the mailbox, slipping an envelope in, was in fact Stiles, wearing an elaborate tuxedo with skeleton make up covering his hands and face

Not sugar-skull make up

Skeleton make up

Derek inhaled and didn't exhale for a full fifteen seconds

~+~

"Do you make Lady Fingers?"

Derek was not proud to say he hit his head on the counter when he rushed to stand up from putting the cupcakes away and saw Stiles standing in front of the bakery counter wearing black jeans, a fitted black t-shirt, a spiked collar around his neck, and a few other various peices of jewlry

.....

And sporting a Supernatural backpack....

Derek licked his lips and tried to ignore that stupid collar and the.... the things it did to him

And the things it made him want to do to Stiles for that matter

"I'm sorry, what was your question?"

Stiles licked his lips and then Derek noticed the black nail polish and oh GOD....

Why was this attractive to him?

"Lady Fingers, you know, the dessert?"

"I... we don't... typically sell those,"

Although now that he thought about it he sort of wondered why, but no one ever really asked for them so...

"Aw really? Crap," Stiles grumbled, sighing and running his hands through his hair

 _'Stop being obscene...'_ Derek wanted to blurt out

He didn't

"Do you... God um... do you think you could do me a favor?"

"That.... really depends..."

"Could you make me some? That look like real fingers? Actually I have a list, can you make like.. just... any of this? All of this? Some of it?" he asked, handing a folded up notebook page to Derek

Before he even had a chance to look at it Stiles' phone went off and he picked it up, starting to grumble under his breath

"Ok.. crap alright emergency, I've gotta split, can you just...? I'll be back Friday? I'll pay for the rush, PROMISE!" he shouted, running off and waving as he exited the shop

Stiles' list included- but was not limited to- gummy sharks (this was a bakery, not a candy shop) and an anatomically correct heart cake that bleeds when you cut into it

Derek shoved the list at Laura and valiantly refused to have anything to do with it for his own safety

Laura had laughed

~+~

The next day after getting home from work Derek found Stiles and Scott standing in the yard with a squirt bottle of fake blood, spraying a set of otherwise really nice looking clothes and shoes

The day after that Derek woke up to find Stiles carrying a bucket of fake reptiles towards the neighborhood pool

By the time he got out of the house and on his way to his car he saw Scott drive up with a mannequin in the back of his car, both arms gone, and covered in duct tape

The next day he went out to walk the dog before dinner and saw Stiles in the middle of his driveway, sitting in a circle of lit candles and various herbs and stones and apparently meditating

He was wearing a weird type of chain mail crown over his head with a jewl in the center and when Derek came back he had just blown out the candles and was kissing acorns

The day after that was Friday and Derek had, incidentally, gotten forced to help his sisters make the list of bizarre food that Stiles wanted

When he entered that day he was in similar clothes to the last time Derek saw him, even though it was a stark contrast to the plaid and khakis he usually saw him in

"Hey! I hope I didn't inconvenience you guys any by my order, I know it was short notice but-"

"It's fine," Derek said immediately, waving off the apology that was sure to come and starting to get the boxes together

"Hey can I ask you something?" he asked a minute later

Derek wanted so badly to say no but at the end he just nodded in agreement

"Do you have any black latex gloves? I mean you guys are bakers so you have to have gloves, do you have any in black?"

Derek's jaw fell open and before he could even answer he was being pushed aside by Cora, who took his place in front of Stiles

"Are you a serial killer?" she asked bluntly

"WHAT?" Stiles shouted, clearly caught off guard

"Hunter? Occultist? What?"

"No, no, none of those- ... what because I want black gloves!?"

"Because frankly my sensitive older brother is afraid of you, I'll let you two talk," she said with a smirk, patting Derek's shoulder and heading back into the backroom

The silence was so tense Derek could cut it with a cake slicer

"We should talk," Stiles finally said

Derek just nodded his agreement and gestured to the backroom, motioning for Laura to take over the counter for him

~+~

"What," Stiles began

"-would give you the impression that I'm a serial killer?"

"Those were Cora's words, not mine,"

It was a flimsy defense but it was all he had

"Ok, alright, but you're scared of me or something? Do you want to give THAT an explanation?"

Derek sighed, leaning back in his chair for a moment, he felt like he was being interrogated by the police...

He tried several times to start this... conversation.... but each thing sounded more ridiculous than the last

What WAS he using as grounds to accuse him as being anything other than a little eccentric?

The fact that he had an armless mannequin in his freind's car?

That he dressed like a skeleton for no apparent reason one morning?

That he blasted a song from Disney when all reasonable people were asleep?

None of those were crimes and they could only be vaguely described as creepy

Weird, odd, strange.... not really creepy....

"Why did you splash blood all over my yard?" he finally asked

Stiles blinked, eyebrows raising

"Um, it was fake blood..."

"Same point,"

"It... I didn't know that was your yard? I was pretty sure until five seconds ago that that was MY yard but I know the property lines are sorta hard to find since our backyards are the woods," he commented

"But why were you pouring blood there?"

Stiles started to smirk, laughing slightly

"Um... ok... I think I just found the problem," he noted, full on laughing now

"What?" Derek frowned, getting more confused and more frustrated by the moment

"Dude, I am SO sorry, um.. I'm getting a book published- my... my sixth book, actually, honestly, it's a _horror anthology_ , I'm not exactly James Patterson, I don't get paid alot for my writing so you're looking at a poor man's attempt to make a nice looking cover for a horror book,"

Derek started to blush, that would, admittedly, explain it...

"So that's why you were looking for a Halloween store..."

"Exactly, I needed body parts and blood and stuff, but see my first couple of ideas didn't really look good on film so I've been improvising,"

"The snakes in the pool and the bloody clothes you mean?"

"Um, yeah.... yeah the clothes were a poor attempt at making an expensive looking decoration, see my buddy Scott's mom is a nurse and she managed to loan us one of the CPR dummies they lend out to schools for a day, we had this... scarey mask and everything but it didn't work out well..."

"Why were the arms off of it?" Derek blurted out

Stiles looked up, a little startled, but just started laughing harder

"Oh my God, because that thing is OLD? It's trash to be honest, the arms keep falling off, the middle has had to be taped back together like three times, one eye is scratched beyond repair... you couldn't expect her to get us one of the new ones,"

Well THAT explained alot...

"What about the music late at night?"

Stiles tilted his head, obviously not remembering

"At three in the morning about a week ago, you were blasting Halloween music, and the sound of screaming,"

"Oh! Yeah sorry dude, I really didn't mean to blast it, I was writing and falling asleep so I was trying to keep myself awake, I clicked on the wrong thing beforehand and it was sound effects,"

"The skeleton costume? I ... saw you a few days ago...."

"There's a nerd convention at the end of the month and Scott's girlfreind Kira is practicing her make up skills so we can all look dapper in some neat cosplay and horror costumes," he winked

Derek cursed, he should have guessed that one, he and his sisters went to that convention every year....

"What about that weird thing you were doing in your yard with the candles and stuff?"

This time it was Stiles' turn to blush and he shrugged shyly, rubbing the back of his neck and licking his lips

"I'm a witch dude, I was just meditating and practicing a few spells, the candles and herbs and stones were all for amping up my magic, the diadem too if you're wondering,"

"What the hell is a diadem?"

"The crown thingy?" he chuckled, making a gesture towards his forehead

"It has an Amythist crystal in the center so it helps keep my third eye open- you know, third eye? Ajna chakra? The center of magic?"

Derek nodded shyly, starting to feel more and more embarrassed

"And the acorn...?"

"A protection spell, you cast it over the acorn and it helps ward off negative energy when you carry it," he proved this by pulling the acorn out of his pocket and setting it in front of Derek

"I guess you have a reasonable explanation for the clothes and baked goods too then huh?"

"Yeah, my freind Lydia is a great photographer and she's coming into town from her busy college schedule to save my and Scott's scrawny butts from amateur photography hell, we're having a little party and thought, ok, we're watching The Walking Dead all night, let's have some walker chow..... and what do you mean my clothes?"

"The jewlry and dark stuff? Is that some kind of costume?"

"No dude these are my clothes, I LIKE wearing these," Stiles huffed back

Derek turned about twelve shades of red

"But... you always-"

"I'm usually in a hurry and just put on a t-shirt and my khakis yeah but when I come and see you I.... want to look kinda nice," he mumbled

"You want to look nice... when you come to see me?" he asked slowly

"Well yeah, isn't that what you do when you keep trying to ask someone out but are too chicken to actually do it?"

"You wanted to ask me out? But... what about your boyfreind?"

"Boyfreind? What? You mean Scott? Dude... we're just roommates, platonic soulmates but.... no, I've wanted to ask you out since I saw you,"

Derek was now a heavy mixture of embarrassed and shocked

Lovely

"O-Oh..." Derek squeaked

"Yeah, and I um... I still do, you know, despite the awkward, creepy, 'I thought you were a crazy person' interrogation thing happening right here,"

Derek jumped to his feet, rushing to open the door only to be stopped when Stiles grabbed his arm

"No no you're ok, really you're fine, I'm just messing with you," he laughed

Derek gave a slight laugh and smiled back at him, looking down at the floor shyly

"So.... do you want to get pizza later? Like maybe when you guys close are-"

"Yes, yes pizza sounds good," Derek smiled shyly

"Ok... ok cool! Cool then it's.. it's a date,"

Derek tried not to beam too much at that information and gave a confirming nod

"It's a date," he promised

~+~

Halloween WAS important to Stiles, incidentally, Derek didn't know what he had been expecting

When Halloween night came everyone in the neighborhood was impressed- but not surprise- to see that the Hales and the Stilinski/McCalls had combined forces into one big mega haunted house for the trick-or-treaters to enjoy

They especially enjoyed the "cool magic tricks" and "funny wolfmen" that seemed to be at the houses

And as for Stiles and Derek, well... Derek was happy to say that all of the creepy things Stiles did from then on- and there were still many, many creepy things- were done with Derek helping out along the way

(He was still waiting for an explanation on that sawed off pole in the backyard though)

**Author's Note:**

> So the thing is that the last few days I've been in desperate search of Halloween supplies because I'm trying to get a good cover for the second volume of a horror anthology I'm about to publish and it's so much harder than you'd think, my mom and I covered our yard in blood splatter the other day (it wasn't a success sadly) and kept making jokes about how much the neighbors were going to appreciate it if they saw it (hence: it wasn't a success) and all I could think of was Derek freaking out about his new neighbor splattering the yard with blood and not knowing that Stiles is just a horror writer looking for a cheap cover
> 
> So many of these things are things I've actually done- including the mannequin that's two feet from the junk yard- and the more I think about it the more I love being the "creepy neighbor"
> 
> And yes people do already have Christmas stuff out, it's weird


End file.
